Here is what else I know: Spanking does not work.
But before I get into the psychological effects of spanking, let me address discipline first.
"Discipline is not the same as punishment. Instead, discipline has to do more with teaching, and involves teaching your child right from wrong, how to respect the rights of others, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, with a goal of helping to develop a child who feels secure and loved, is self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control his impulses, and who does not get overly frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life." -www.keepkidshealthy.com
HITTING MODELS HITTING, DEVALUES THE CHILD, DEVALUES THE PARENT, MAY LEAD TO ABUSE, DOES NOT IMPROVE BEHAVIOR, PROMOTES ANGER - IN CHILDREN AND IN PARENTS. BRINGS BACK BAD MEMORIES
Slapping hands: children's hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child's natural curiosity. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message.
"Spanking also teaches a child they are a “victim.” The more a child is victimized, the more he or she develops a perception of him/ herself as someone who “deserves” discomfort and suffering. People who view themselves as victims behave in ways that keep them suffering. They make “choices” that repeat the relationships between themselves and their parents. Rejection of pain, suppressed anger, low self-worth, inability to form lasting relationships, and uncontrolled fits of violent anger, are just some of the consequences of childhood victimization. It is not surprising many children who view themselves as victims engage parents and other adults in power struggles, push the limits of reasonable control, test the boundaries, act on the “you can’t make me” philosophy of cooperation, and challenge adult authority until they are victimized again.
Once a child is hit, the memory remains in the brain and body for life. Children who were spanked only once or twice can often remember the pain and shock for years afterward. For children struck frequently, the anticipation of intense pain becomes part of the punishment itself. The anxiety this creates cannot be easily overcome. Recent brain research indicates that highlevels of stress or anxiety can actually change the “wiring” of the brain and interfere with learning, thinking and later relationships". -www.kidsgrowth.com
"Children of non-spanking parents tend to be easy to manage and well-behaved because these parents set clear standards for what is expected, provide lots of love and affection, explain things to the child, and recognize and reward good behavior."
-www.kidsgrowth.com
